• Leslie Crews

How To Know When Toxic Relationships Must End

Updated: Apr 29

It doesn't matter how much you love someone, when God is ready for them to leave your life, there's nothing you can do.

Losing people is hard. I'm not talking about people dying either. Death makes sense. We live and we die. It has to happen, right? But when the curtain comes down on a relationship you've held on to, probably longer than you should have, it's a different kind of pain.

This person could have ruined your credit, blacked your eye, and spoiled the endings to every one of the highly anticipated movies on your Blockbuster list, but when they're gone there's an ache that lingers like a paper cut that you forgot you had, until hand sanitizer reminded you. DANG that crap hurts.

Why do emotions betray us this way? Logically we know we haven't been happy. We've learned to expect their negativity. And the excitement of being around them is likened to a kid going to the dentist; you know it's going to suck, but at least you'll get a sticker or something. Yaye.

Perhaps it's because we think that loving them will be enough to make them see themselves for who they really are and how they treat people. If we show them what love is, if we make them feel what love feels like, maybe something in their brain will click and register that they aren't matching that same energy.

Maybe if we show them how willing we are to suffer through the phases of them running repeatedly into brick walls, just maybe they will see how loyal of a friend we are and recognize that we are the best personal security systems they've ever had. Maybe they'll stop running face first into the same brick wall.

In my years of walking the earth, I can tell you that no amount of self-sacrifice or slathering of love and attention on someone will ever get them to change behaviors that they don't think need to be changed.

How do I know? I've been in 20+ year long relationships that ended. Oh, but how hard I fought to keep those relationships alive. It just wasn't meant to happen. God had other plans.

I'll start by saying that I am human.

Though I love all things brig